Yosemite part 1

Day 1: The pitch is labeled with an innocuous sounding “5.8 fist”. 

“well that’s about VS, I could probably solo this blindfolded”, I think to myself.

I put my fist in the crack.

I take it out and look at it.

I put my fist in the crack the other way up.

I take it out and look at it again.

I put my other fist in the crack.

Hmmm.

10 meters later I’m a gibbering wreck, desperately trying to make the crack wider with one hand on either side. My lone blue camalot is the only thing keeping me from a 20 meter screamer. Above me 5.8 fist crack stretches on indefinitely. “HOW DO PEOPLE DO THIS?!?”

Well it could only get better from there!

I just got back from a month in Yosemite with my girlfriend Bron. I was super excited to learn how to climb big walls, which was the aim of this trip: figure out big wall, aid and crack climbing. These are some highlights from the trip:

Big Wall Number 1: Our first step towards big wall glory was the south face of Washington Column. On dinner ledge, our first bivy spot, we were joined by a guy who told us his name was Joe-semite. He appeared to be climbing by himself, had long straggly black hair, tiny John Lennon sunglasses and reggae blaring from the large boombox hanging from his harness. Occasionally he would yell “YEAH FUCK YEAH” at the top of his lungs. He seemed to be having a good time. Later two friends joined him having hauled a case of beer, whisky, rum AND vodka up to the ledge. Party! Not what I was expecting for my first big wall bivy!!! The next day we climbed and hauled to the top, Bron put in a great effort leading the last scary loose pitch by headtorch. We pulled our haulbag over the top and collapsed where we stood.

"Everything is clipped to everything else, what is aid climbing anyway!?"

Topping out in the dark from our first big wall!

Royal Arches Solo: Royal arches is a classic 16 pitch 5.7/severe-ish, my time was 1 hour 55 minutes valley to valley. Running down I was laughing to myself, this much fun shouldn't be legal.

Astroman: Alex from Montreal had slightly crazy eyes and pretty much told me I was climbing Astroman with him. Astroman is THE classic free day route in the valley, it's about 12 pitches long and at 5.11c it would probably get E5 or E6 in the UK. The crux pitch is the terrifying Harding Slot, an E6 squeeze chimney! I knew my friend Steve Dunning had got benighted on the route last year so we started early, really early. By 7am Alex was leading up pitch 3, the Enduro Corner, an incredible pitch of unrelenting thin hand-jamming. Or frantic laybacking in my case! I climbed the corner like any self respecting sport climber would, shaking out, chalking up and not a single jam. A pitch or two higher my foot pinged and I was suddenly aware of an awful lot of space underneath me. My stomach stayed where it was and the rest of my body came to a halt 15 meters lower. I did some adrenalized shouting, pulled back up the rope and finished off the pitch. I could actually feel myself learning how to jam, on the route! Unfortunately I fell a few more times getting into the Harding Slot so the 100% free ascent was blown, it really is rather hard.  I wasn't bothered though, it was amazing to be finding pitch after pitch of incredible climbing. Every pitch on the route would be at least a 3 star E4 in the UK! Higher on the route I started to get into my groove, onsighting the E5ish changing corners pitch and the ominous sounding 5.10dR last pitch. We were on top by 2pm so probably didn't need to start quite that early!

Entering the Harding Slot

"I can't breathe!"

The incredible Changing Corners pitch.

ASTROMEN!!!

The Nose: We climbed the world's most famous big wall route in 4 days and 3 nights. It's popular for a reason, the climbing is SO GOOD and the exposure is out of this world. Vertical camping! It felt totally surreal waking up each morning and looking down at the valley below. Like being in space. Somehow everything clicked and big walling started to feel manageable. Our ascent was a leisurely one, I think we could have done it in 3 days at the speed we were going, but instead it was nice to stop well before dark each day and have time to chill out on the incredible ledges. I can't wait to get back there and try my hand at some of the harder big walls in both free and aid style.

The Great Roof

Bron seconding the Great Roof.

The Pancake Flake

Camp VI, our final bivy on the route

Some Italians we met on the final day

 

Malham

I first climbed at Malham four years ago, we bivvied on the catwalk under the crag. It was February and -12°C. We were so psyched on that first night that we made a 1am ascent of Begozi and the Ledge lizards 6a+ by headtorch. That weekend I worked my way through some classic 7as, I remember being particularily chuffed with an onsight of Consenting Adults, the warm up route.

A year later we were illegally bivvying in the hay loft of a farmers barn opposite the crag. In the morning I slept fitfully, I kept jerking awake having dreamt I was hearing tractors and shotguns... I remember falling off New Dawn 7c a lot that weekend, I just couldn't seem to get my feet to stay on the glassy polished footholds!

Then I moved to Leeds and didn't have to doss at the crag any more, this definitely helped my climbing! I started to get the hang of moving efficiently over the rock, I started to see footholds where before there had been only blankness. That year I climbed lots of the classics, Raindogs, Zoolook, GBH, Overnite Sensation, Predator... Culminating in making the third ascent of Totally Free II, the 70m 8b super route climbing all the way out of the cove.

A lot of people find the climbing at Malham frustrating, every hold is either a sidepull or an undercling. Often the crux of whole routes is a foot bump, or swap. For me this is what makes it great, it's all about tactics. Climbing well there is like playing a game of chess with the rock, often 5 moves go by and you haven't made any upward progress at all, just moved your hands and feet around!

In the last year I've been more focused on trad climbing and expeditions so haven't spent as much time at Malham, but a couple of weekends ago I went back for a play. I surprised myself by making a 3rd go ascent of Energy Vampire, a short bouldery 8a+. You can see my sketchy ascent in the video below, I totally forgot my sequence on the top wall! I also included some footage of the quiet crusher that is Jacob Handyside sending Overnite Sensation 8a+.


4 Bolts - Malham from Jacob Cook on Vimeo.

Finally I'm proud to have become a BOB HATS sponsored athlete! (this means I got a free hat :D) I can confirm that they are both extremely warm and extremely stylish! Also entirely handmade by a pair of loveable climbing/slacklining bums, what more could you want!?

The Lizard King

I finally succeeded in leading my project at Ilkley!

I first tried it 4 months ago, a few days after doing the New Statesman. Basically I got on it because I'm not strong enough to do the crux of Gerty Berwick and wanted to find another way up the wall!

You do the crux of the New Statesman to a shake, then swing left and do a crazy rock-over move to reach a pod in the wall halfway up Gerty Berwick. You follow this route for a couple of moves before going left again with a cool cross over sequence on pockets, this part is a bit easier than the start but the gear isn't great and you're really high at this point.

Red: The project
Blue: New Statesman
Green: Gerty Berwick

By far the crux for me was the rock-over in the middle. It took me around 8 sessions to figure out, and even once I could do it consistently it still felt absolutely terrifying. The move involves getting fully rocked over on a heel and then just falling sideways and grabbing the next hold on the way past. I'm pretty sure this is the kind of move Dave Graham describes as a "drive-by"... Also you don't have any gear at this point and it's getting close to the limit of what could be called "highball".

The actual lead felt incredible. I don't think I've ever been so focused. It felt as though I was watching myself climb it, and climb it perfectly.

Yes it's a link-up and maybe not the most obvious line on the wall but once you've been on there it's actually the easiest way up that bit of wall. Anyway, I had a great time climbing it.

It's for sure the hardest thing I've done on trad and I think it comes in at about f8a+ but it's always hard to tell with these things. I've given it E9 7a and it's called the Lizard King. Partly as a Jim Morrison tribute and partly to draw attention to the fact that many of the current world leaders are actually Lizards. (Although the name "State Pension" was a clear front runner for a while.)

Abstract Normality Media caught the ascent on film, here's a few screengrabs from that:

Scary Weekend

My scary weekend consisted of headpointing two grit E7s. Paralogism at the Roaches and Snap Decision at Ilkley. The idea was to mentally prepare myself for the headpoint of my project by doing some easier routes.


Two grit E7s, Paralogism and Snap Decision from Jacob Cook on Vimeo.

I was thinking about going for the flash on Paralogism, but after my two beta monkeys failed to get past the initial moves I thought better of it! Thank god because I proceeded to fall off on my first go on top rope! It's not a case of if but where you would hit the floor on this one...

Arriving at Ilkley to find driving sideways hail did not bode well for the day. The route, Snap Decision, had several wet holds and was generally quite green. I chucked a rope down it anyway and somehow as the sun was setting I found myself tieing into the sharp end. I decided to put a single biner on the solitary peg runner to reduce the fall distance and took a rag to dry some key footholds whilst on lead. Topping out to a clear winter sunset and a familiar kick of adrenalin reminded why I do this stuff. (Euphoric pigeons!)

Meteora

Just had a week climbing on the conglomerate towers of Meteora in central Greece with my girlfriend Bron. This place seems to be a bit off the radar for most climbers in the UK, which is a shame because it is, totally, awesome!

I felt like it provided quite a different experience to a lot of "clip and go" euro-sport holidays, which can feel a bit sterile. All the bolting was done ground up and as such it's pretty runout in places, definitely worth bringing a trad rack as most of the routes we did had an average of about 3 bolts per pitch!

Just looking around in the mornings at all these huge 300m towers filled me with childlike psyche to get out climbing, "I wanna go up there!"

This was my first time using the Edelweiss Oxegen II half ropes, I was amazed at how much lighter they were than my previous half ropes and after a week of heavy use they still looked like I'd just taken the out the packet, highly recommended.

Day 1: Obviously had to involve climbing this:

Day 2: We decided to go straight away for the classic route of the area; Traumpfeiler or Pillar of Dreams is a 9 pitch grade VI in the UIAA scale, which corresponds to about HVS, sounds easy! Well it was, but I wouldn't have liked you to tell me that halfway up pitch one. I found myself adrift in a sea of mossy pebbles with not a bolt in sight above or below and no obvious trad placements except optimistically equalised slings on crozzle! Thankfully after this it was slightly safer, although pitch 7 also had 3 bolts in 40m! Here's Bron seconding pitch 4:

In the evening I snuck in an extra cheeky solo up this huge block, it had a cross on top and I thought "if a monk can get up there, so can I!"

Day 3: This perched block is still up there as far as I know!

Day 4: We decided to try and climb our two favourite looking towers in a day, both via 5 pitch VIIs (E3ish). First up was Teufelsturm, which I am unreliably informed means "devils tower".

A missed belay meant we simul-climbed a large section in the middle and the final pitch apparently had no bolts! Summit one:

Next up was "Kastrakiturm", the final pitch had some incredible exposure!

Ten pitches climbed, hi-five!

Day 5: A 6 pitch VII on "Dupianifels" had a SWEET picnic spot in the middle:

Also from here I had an hour and a half in which to attempt Meteoras hardest route, "Crazy Dancing" IX+/7c+ is a totally wild horizontal roof crack blasting straight out of the cave!

Unfortunately I didn't quite send, but it felt hard to be upset in such amazing surroundings.

Day 6: Last day! We wanted to try a route imaginatively named "Action Direct" but it turned out to be wet. Instead we went for "Keisel Am Himmel" a 5 pitch VIII/7a. I linked the first two pitches to make a 50m 7bish monster pitch. It had a bit of everything, loose pebbles, crozzle crimping, running out of quickdraws... Here's Bron seconding the crux:

All in all I'd definitely recommend the place if your looking for a different kind of climbing trip. Do get in touch if you want the beta on where to stay, what to climb etc!

Yorkshire Sketching

Last week I managed to sneak out to Hunter's Stones between rain showers and do the classic "Hunter's Roof". What a brilliant problem, I've never climbed anything like it in my life, double heel-hooks, double guppies, obligatory campusing, it's got it all! Here's a video:


Two Barden 7Cs, Hunter's Roof and McNab Sit. from Jacob Cook on Vimeo.

Frustratingly I seem to have a bit of a finger injury, which has prevented me from getting as much training done as I would have liked. Instead of training I decided to finally sift through some footage that's been sitting on my computer for ages.

Here's a video of some Yorkshire classic highballs and trad routes:


Some Yorkshire Sketching from Jacob Cook on Vimeo.

And now for something completely different...

The alarm went off and I felt as though I'd barely closed my eyes for a second. As I adjusted my balaclava and fitted my goggles I made sure not not to leave any exposed skin before stepping outside. It was -25°C, significantly warmer than the last few days, the sun was yet to rise.

A mere week before I'd never had a pair of skis on in my life but here I was shouldering a heavy bag setting out for a two day, 25km back country ski across a frozen lake. It was cold. Headlines in England described conditions in Canada as a "Polar Vortex", giving rise to some of the coldest temperatures on record. The previous morning the thermometer outside our cabin had confirmed this, registering a frigid -46°C. This meant we had decided to wait another day before setting off.

Skiing across the lake was not what I'd imagined skiing would be like. Rather than gracefully gliding over the surface with minimal effort, it involved what I can only describe as trudging, with long awkward pointy things attached to my feet. The four of us took it in turns breaking trail in the knee deep snow.

By mid afternoon we had skied just under halfway, we stopped to build "Quincy". A type of snow cave which Bron seemed convinced would keep us alive and (dare I say it) even warm during that night. The way they supposedly work is to have a raised platform inside that is above the level of the entrance, this allows bodies inside to warm up the air without the heat escaping. It sounded unlikely.

To my amazement I woke up the next morning still alive! However as I slithered out the door my heart sank, I was met by a full on blizzard, howling winds and a near total whiteout on the lake. Quite a scary place to be as we had no means of contacting anyone or calling for help and thus no option but to make it the remaining 13km to Temagami, the town at the end of the lake. Luckily we had a GPS allowing us to navigate during the whiteout. Skiing through the now waist deep snow drifts in the blizzard felt like being on another planet. My eyes were freezing shut whenever I removed my goggles. My water bottle was tucked firmly inside my crotch to avoid freezing.

In winter the lake freezes so solid that they plow a road a couple of kilometers over the ice from the mainland to "Bear Island". Deeply exhausted and with frost nibbled extremities we staggered onto this as it was getting dark on our second day. God knows how people do extended winter camping trips!